Holding on in the Dark
by totallykelly
Summary: 6 years after graduation. Kurt, Blaine, Santana and Brittany all live together in a large mansion. Both couples are married and happy. Then a horrible accident changes everything, leaving some broken and one gone all together, or so they think.
1. Chapter 1: Sexy in a Suit

**So this is my first story so any input or criticism you have PLEASE share. I will update as often as I can, but I am a student and am fairly busy with my course load.**

**The POV rotates between characters in each chapter. Enjoy and review please!**

**Blaine's POV**

"Blaine. Blaaaaine."

I can feel the warm breath whispering in my ear, my favorite sound: his voice. I roll over and stare into his eyes and he plants a slow passionate kiss on my lips then pulls away.

"It is time for you to wake up from your silly nap and get changed. Santana will kill us if we aren't ready in time." Kurt says while pulling me off the bed and into his arms. Then all in one fluid motion he spins us across the room and into the walk in closet.

I look at my watch and shake my head, "Honey, we have an hour till we are set to leave."

"You know how long it takes to put together a nice outfit. This is barely enough time!"

He is so adorable I just can't help myself, "I'll help you get dressed, but first we must undress."

So I kiss his mouth very lightly and unbutton his sweater and pull it off him. Our kiss intensifies, and we pull our shirts off.

"Blaine, you know I can't resist you, but San—"

I cut him off with another passionate kiss as I slowly push him to the plush carpet that lines the closet floor. I place soft kissed down his chiseled abs, which makes him moan in a way that I love.

"Stay here." I say very commandingly as I stand up and walk into the depths of the closet where the "formal section" lives.

As I walk away I hear Kurt whisper, "you tease." And I cannot contain my chuckle as I scan through his suits. Finally I select the navy suit with hot pink pinstripes and vest.

I walk back to my beautiful husband laying on the floor and hold up the suit where he can see.

"How did you know that was what I wanted to wear?"

"Because I know you better than I know myself." I say while I bend down to remove his pants.

"Oh so I am incapable of dressing myself now?"

"No, I just want an excuse to see you naked."

"Pssh not like you need one." He says this with a crooked smile.

I shake my head at him and replace his pants with those of the suit then pull him to his feet and leave a

light kiss on his lips before fetching a crisp white button down for him.

After he has been dressed I send him away so I may get dressed alone, to which he protest, of course.

"Just let me surprise you with my fashionable choice, please?" and with that I flash my big puppy dog eyes which I know will make him melt. Defeated he marches out of the closet to go fix his hair.

Smiling in my victory I walk back into the formal area and pull off my newest suit: pale gray with yellow pinstripes. I pair it with a white shirt and pale yellow bow tie.

"Why do you look so sexy in a suit?" Kurt begs as I emerge, planting a soft kiss on my lips.

"The real question is why do you?" I say with a coy smile then glance at my watch, "We must get down stairs or Santana will kill us."

I grab his hand and pull him out the bedroom door.


	2. Chapter 2: Devil in a Red Dress

**Again, please give me your input!**

**Brittany's POV**

I am leaning toward the mirror to apply my lip gloss when Santana walks into the bathroom making a huff as always.

"Those two better damn well be dressed and waiting on the stairs when we get down there or so help me…"

"They will be San, they know how you get." I look up at her in the mirror and lose my breath.

We've know each other for ten years and she still takes my breath away.

"Damn right they better know, we've only been living with them for four years. What? Is there something on my face?" She has caught me staring at her and instantly became self-conscious.

"You take my breath away every day." I mumble as I walk over to her and wrap my arms around her red satin sheathed waist.

She looks up into my eyes, "And you take mine as well." The she is kissing me lightly trying not to smudge her red lipstick.

I am kissing her back now, with more force and passion; slowly pushing her back towards the wall.

Without thinking I run my hand down toward the very high slit in her red dress, but her hand stops me.

Pulling away I let my confusion show on my face.

"There is plenty of time for that after the party." She then leans forward to whisper in my ear, "and you don't want to spoil the surprise that is hidden under this dress."

A low moan escapes me, "How long is this party again?"

"Only five hours," she says with a smile as she goes to fix her lipstick in the mirror.

"Why must you be so tempting? My personal Devil in a Red Dress," She smiles at me, and helps reapply my lip gloss for me.

I cup her face with my left hand and watch my ring gleam in the light. "You make me so happy; I don't know what I would do without you."

"Good thing you will never need to know. I'm here to stay." She says placing her hand over mine. "Shall we?"

I nod and we make our way down the hall of the mansion and down the stairs.

"You girls look spectacular." Blaine says as we descend the stairs.

"Brittany, you look fabulous in purple. Santana always wear red and nothing else." Kurt adds with excitement.

"Well, we don't want to be late to Sam and Sebastian's party." Santana says and begins to pull me down the stairs. "Blaine you're driving, because I'm not even going to try with these heels on."

I look at her feet to admire her strappy sandals with three inch heels that actually make her as tall as me, if I weren't wearing heels as well.

Santana reaches over and places her hand on mine on the center seat of the car. I smile at her then look forward at the back of Kurt's head and see that he has his hand on Blaine's hand on the shifter.

And I'm thinking: everything is perfect, we all have love and nothing can take that away from us. I turn my head to the window and there are headlights growing closer and brighter. I grip Santana's hand and scream as the truck crashes into the side of the car.


	3. Chapter 3:What Just Happened?

**Please Review!**

**Santana's POV**

I heard Brittany scream and felt her grasp my hand right before the pick-up barreled into the side of the car. Then I hit my head on the car door and everything went black.

Now the paramedics are talking to me and trying to get me to respond.

"Wh-Where is Brittany?" I ask with all my breath.

"Who? The blonde? They're getting her out of the car now." The blue eyed paramedic replies, "Your husbands are already on their way to the hospital."

"They- They're not our husbands. We- we're all—all g-gay." Something in the back of my head is telling me I shouldn't have said that, but they need to know.

"Oh…We'll take good care of your wife ma'am." His face begins to fade to black, and then it's gone.

…

I'm waking up, someone is holding my hand. I blink against the bright light and turn to see Quinn sitting holding my hand and waiting.

"Hey, I didn't mean to wake you, I just got here." Quinn says quietly. She looks so beautiful in her formal dress. She runs out to tell the nurse I have awoken.

"How are you feeling dear?" the nurse asks as she checks my chart and the IV bag.

"Fine, how long have I been here?" I get out with my hoarse voice.

"You just got here about twenty minutes ago. Your friends who were in the car with you are all here, one of the young men was rushed into surgery." She said, far too cheerily.

"Where is Brittany?" I rasped.

"She's getting some scans done, she hit the back of her head, it broke the skull so the doctors wanted to be sure everything is all right."

"Is my father here tonight? He…he works here. Doctor Lopez."

"Yes, he is in surgery working on your friend, Kurt, I think was his name."

"Okay, so did I break anything?"

She scanned the chart again, "Nope, you have a mild concussion, but other than a few cuts you seem to be fine. Would you like to go see your other friend, the curly haired one?"

"Blaine. His name is Blaine. And yes, I need to see him." And with that she runs to get the wheelchair and she and Quinn help me into it, then hangs the IV bag on it and pushes me into the neighboring room.

Blaine is sitting up and talking to Rachael, but his arm has been casted and is in a sling. Rachael smiles at me as I enter the room.

"How're you feeling Santana?" Blaine asks, his voice as raspy as mine usually is.

"Worried. What even happened?" I ask, begging for an answer why this could have happened.

"Some idiot barreled through a red light and smashed into our car." Blaine offered. "He is fine, or so I'm told, barely a scratch on him." I can hear the anger in his voice, but at the end his voice catches and I know something is really wrong.

"How is Kurt?" Quinn wonders.

"They rushed him into surgery, the car door stabbed him in the side, the truck hit dead on his door." I can tell it is taking everything in him to be strong. I reach for his free hand and squeeze.

"He'll pull through. Everything will be fine." I say, recalling Brittany screaming and grabbing my hand.

…

Brittany was sent into surgery because of brain bleeding in her occipital lobe. The doctors are saying she most likely lost her sight, but we won't know till she wakes up. I also overheard them talking about how there could be possible memory loss, but they are unsure. But she is sleeping soundly in her own room while I hold her hand.

Kurt was in surgery for five hours, and the doctor(my father) has finally come to talk to Blaine so I am going over to sit with him for the news. Burt, Carole and Finn have all arrived and they come it to wait with us for the news.

I am holding Blaine's hand, hoping that Brittany doesn't wake up while I'm gone. I need to be there for her. My father enters looking grim as ever I have seen him; he walks over and kisses my head, "I'm so glad you are alright honey."

He walks back to the foot of the bed which has me quite nervous. "As you know Kurt's injuries were quite extensive and we worked very hard for hours and did our best to repair the damage, but there was too much damage and we were unable to stop the bleeding."

"Wait, what does that mean?" Burt asks, his voice shaking.

"I'm very sorry, but Kurt did not survive the surgery. We lost him."

And it was as if the world stopped, then started again all too quickly. Burt burst into tears, and Finn looks like he can't believe anything he heard. I feel the tears running down my face and I turn to Blaine who is gripping my hand tighter than before.

His body is shaking, like waves of sadness are coming over him slowly. I see the tears running down his face. He lets go of my hand and cradles his face in his own. So I stand and walk over to my father and collapse in his arms.

He walks me back to Brittany's room, because they believe she will wake up soon. I have never felt so lucky in my life, I couldn't imagine losing Brittany, not now or ever.


	4. Chapter 4: My World Went Dark

**I know some of you probably want to hear from Blaine or Kurt at this point, but that is coming in the next two chapters so just hold on for me. Please keep reviewing!**

**Brittany's POV**

I am waking up and blinking my eyes. Why is it so dark, what is going on?

"Brittany! You're awake. How do you feel?"

I turn in the direction of Santana's voice, but I can't see a thing. "Santana, why is it so dark? Are we in a hospital?" I'm searching for some sort of light, but still nothing.

"Oh, Brittany the lights are on, we are in the hospital. I will go get the doctor." Santana's voice was on edge like she was about to cry. I can hear her chair moving and then she is padding across the room, I hear a door open and close.

So I wait alone in the dark, and I remember hitting the back of my head on the seat of the car pretty hard and everything going black. _Am I blind?_ I hear the door open again. "Santana?"

I feel her holding my hand, "I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere."

"Brittany, I'm Dr. Stevens. I performed emergency surgery on your brain last night. I am going to shine a light in your eyes now and I will be touching your face. Just relax, it will only take a moment." I hear his voice and nod. He's touching my face, holding my eyes open but I see nothing.

"Doctor, why can't I see anything?"

"We will have to run a few more scans to be sure, but it appears as though your Occipital Lobe has been damaged so extensively that you have lost all vision. We did not have to remove the brain tissue, so there is a chance that with time you may regain some sight, but for now you will need to adjust to total blindness." His voice sounded very clear, like he'd been rehearsing this for a very long time.

"Dr. Stevens and I have been talking and I'm going to take a few weeks off of work to help you adjust to the surroundings in the house." Santana squeezes my hand as she says this.

A single tear falls down my cheek and I wipe it away. "I can't believe this is happening. How are Kurt and Blaine?"

"I am going to leave you two alone, let the nurse know if you need anything." I hear his shoes clacking on the floor as he walks out.

Santana is sniffling. "Brittany, the accident was very horrible; it smashed the entire front half of Blaine's car, especially where Kurt was sitting. Kurt he…he didn't make it." And with that I can hear her sobbing, and I begin to shake as well.

"Come…here…let me hold…you." I beg between sobs. I scoot over to make room and I feel her lay down next to me. Her head puts weight on my chest, which aches a little, but I don't care, she is still here and Kurt is gone. We lay together till we run out of tears to cry.

"I love you so much Brittany, I can't imagine if I had lost you." She whispers into my hospital gown, which is now very wet with her tears.

"I love you too, San. I wish I could look at your beautiful face."

"Trust me, you aren't missing much, I've been crying since last night, my eyes are all blotchy and puffy." She says with a small chuckle that I can tell she is adding only for my comfort.

"You are always something to miss." I run my hand up her arm, over her shoulder, to the crook in her neck and then rest it on her chin. Gently I tug at her chin, signaling her to scoot up to my face. She complies and I try to bring her lips to mine blindly. I think she gets the hint and she slowly moves them up a little higher than I was aiming and kisses me lightly as if I might break.

I need her. I need to know that not being able to see her will not change us. So I move my hand to the back of her head, close my useless eyes and kiss her deeply. Her kiss is salty from all the tears, and her hands move to my waist as she shifts above me so she is now laying her whole body on top of mine. I edge my tongue into her mouth and do a dance with hers; this always makes her melt and sure thing her body melts into mine.

I ease up and pull back into the pillow, remembering that we are in the hospital that I can't see. "San, are the blinds open on the windows? Is the door open?"

"No Britt, we are completely in private." She says, her voice sultry yet still quite sad. I feel her lips brush mine softly, now she is kissing my neck.

She stops for a moment and I feel her weight shifting. I am so confused, then the blankets that were putting weight on my legs and stomach are gone and I feel the brush of Santana's legs on mine. Her body is now pressed to mine again and that is all I feel till she begins kissing my neck again.

I feel her hand brush the bottom of my gown, and then someone knocks. Santana ignores it and slowly moves her hand up my gown.

The knocking continues.

"Santana, San—you have got to stop, someone is here." I plead her.

With a small sigh her hands stop what they're doing and I lose the feeling of any of her being anywhere near me. I hear her clothes rustling and she walks to the door. I try to find the blankets to recover myself, but it takes quite a lot of searching before I finally locate them.

"How is she?" A voice I can't quite place asks.

"She can't see a thing." I hear Santana whisper in return.

"Who is it?" I ask desperate to know.

"It's Trouty Mouth." Santana says, I can hear the smile in her voice.

I chuckle at the nickname San gave him years ago. "Well, what are you waiting for? Come over here, let me feel your guppy face."

I hear them both laugh and walk over to my bed, Santana grabs my right hand and I squeeze it. She helps me to sit up in the bed. Sam grabs my left hand and brings it up to his face which is wet with tears, I presume. "You know I don't think I've touched your face since that time we kissed at Rachael's party."

This gains a laugh from both of them. "No, I don't think you even touched my face then."

"Well I shall touch it every time I see you now to make up for lost time." He shakes his head beneath my hand as he laughs, I can feel his dimples from his giant smile. "Well, Mr. Smyth where is the lovely Sebastian? Why is your hubby not here to watch me feel up your face?"

"He is over in the next room talking to Blaine. Sometimes I still find it strange how everything turned out with us all. Kurt hated Sebastian for trying to get Blaine, then I met him and we fell in love and now we are all great friends." When he said Kurt's name I felt the smile fall from his face.

"Kurt was always right about you, but you dated Quinn and Mercedes and none of us believed him."

"Don't forget, I dated your wife too." Sam cuts in with a chuckle.

"Yes, but I still had her, even then." I remove my hand from his face and turn towards her and search for her face till she rests it in my hand.

"You had me the first time I saw your face in the locker room after Cheerios practice." Santana says, turning to kiss my palm.

We talked together for a while, till I started to feel quite tired and asked if I could sleep.

…

The next day Blaine got released and came to see me before he left to go help Burt arrange the funeral. He isn't quite the same, his voice is sad, like everyone else who comes to see me. I lost one of my best friends and my eyesight all in one fell swoop, but still it feels like Blaine lost so much more. He lost the love of his life, which is worth more than my damn eyes ever could be.

I get released tomorrow, and will spend the day re-learning the layout of our mansion, and then the next day we will go say goodbye to Kurt. I don't know how I will get through this, but I know I can with Santana by my side.


	5. Chapter 5: A Whisper in My Ear

**This is a big chapter, but the next one is going to be earth-shattering.**

**Blaine's POV**

This house is so huge and so very empty right now. Brittany and Santana aren't coming back till tomorrow and _he_ is never coming back. I don't even try to stop the tear running down my cheek.

I walk up stairs and into our…my bedroom. My broken arm itches and a shower would probably do me good to wash off the hospital smell, but as I turn toward the bathroom I see the closet door wide open. I can't help myself, I walk into it and it smells like him in ways I hadn't noticed before. I walk to the spot where he laid three days before and I kissed him, undressed him for the last time. I collapse and let the sobs run me over.

I fall asleep on the closet floor and am awoken when Burt places his hand on my shoulder.

"Wha-What are you doing here?" I ask very confused why we are in the closet.

"We have to go work out the funeral plans, Blaine." Burt replies in the saddest voice I have ever heard from him. I am confused for a second then it hits me, Kurt is gone, I'd almost forgotten. "Why are you in sleeping in the closet?"

"Before the accident we…in here…it smells like him." Burt nods and I know he understands.

"If you want to get changed, maybe shower then we can go." Burt says helping me up. "Wh-which suits are his?" I look at him confused. "For the funeral, he needs something to wear."

"They are back there, on the right, I will get one." I walk to the back and run my hand over all of his suits. At the end of the row are the tuxes we wore on our wedding day, both white, his had pink pinstripes, mine blue. I run my hand over the silky tux and remember kissing him in it on our wedding day.

I turn to the other suits before I begin to cry again. I pull down his gray suit and a purple shirt and tie. I grab one of my black suits before I hurry from the closet. I shower, which is quite difficult with only one usable arm. When I get out I walk to my dresser, pulling out a nice pair of slacks and a gray sweater. This cast is quite bothersome and I wish it would be gone, because it is a minutely reminder of the accident.

Time to face everything; it is time to start saying good bye to him. I don't know how to handle this.

…_Two days later…_

I am walking into the funeral parlor, it is quite silent as Burt, Carole, Finn and I arrive together thirty minutes before the funeral officially starts. Entering the room I see the coffin I picked out yesterday, painted white on the outside with brilliant purple silk lining, just what he would have wanted.

"You can go up first, we'll wait back here." Carole says patting me on the shoulder.

So, I walk, past the rows of empty chairs, past the many arrangements of beautiful flowers and up to the large coffin. Kurt's beautiful face is covered in makeup to make his skin look alive, like he is just sleeping, but his chest doesn't rise and fall like it should.

I reach down and stroke his cheek, cradling it in my hand. I can't hold back the tears anymore and the sobs overcome me. Some of my tears land on Kurt's so it looks as if he too is crying. I reach into my pocket and pull out our wedding photo and tuck it into his breast pocket.

I swear I hear him whisper, "I love you." In my ear as a hand rests on my shoulder, a hand that feels just like his. I turn around and no one is standing there, no one is touching me, which just brings more tears and I can barely stand there anymore. I bend down and kiss his cold lips, and stumble to the first row of chairs and cradle my head in my hands.

Burt, and Carole go up next, and Finn sits next to me, putting his arm around my shoulder. We've become much closer over the years, truly a brother to me.

I reach the end of my tears just as others begin to arrive. So many familiar faces, some I haven't seen in years. Dave Kurofsky; Puck; Sebastian and Sam; Rachael and Quinn; Mercedes and Sean; Tina, Mike and their bouncing Asian triplets; Artie and Sugar; Mr. Schuster and Emma with their curly haired ginger son; and many more. One by one, they all walk up to Kurt and say goodbye, then crying come to offer their condolences to us.

The last to arrive are Brittany and Santana and everyone stops their talking and consoling to watch Santana guiding Brittany up to the front. "What are you all staring at?" Santana snaps, causing everyone to resume their conversations only slightly quieter.

"San, it's okay." Brittany whispers. They stand next to the coffin and I see them both sobbing. I walk up to them and put my hand on Santana's shoulder.

"Blaine." Santana says as she turns herself and Brittany to face me. I put my arms around them both and they continue to sob into my shoulders.

I let them go and help Santana lead Brittany to seats next to mine and hold Brittany's hand while Santana holds the other one.

Burt walks up to the podium that stands next to Kurt and taps the microphone. "Is this thing on?" Everyone chuckles in response. Burt clears his throat and pulls out a folded stack of papers.

"Anyone who knows Kurt, knows he never believed in God, which explains why I am up here and not some priest, because we all know he would have hated that. So, instead of having parts of a book he never cared for read to you, many people who were very important to Kurt are going to speak and preform for all of you in his memory. First we are going to start with a song from Kurt's high school glee club."

Sam, Mercedes, Rachael, Quinn, Puck, Tina, Mike, Artie and Sugar all walk up to the front as the first chords play from the song If I Die Young by The Band Perry. When the verse about a boy who will love him forever Brittany squeezes my hand, and I can't hold back the tears welling in my eyes, because my forever had been severed, something I never thought would happen.

Their song finishes and Dave Kurofsky steps up to the podium. "I met Kurt in high school and I he was the only out person at our school. I have to admit I envied him, and I had quite the crush on him. Now I was not ready to accept myself and I lashed out at Kurt, something I have regretted every day since. Despite my bullying Kurt was the person who helped me come to terms with myself the most. He forgave me for what I did to him and was there for me when someone else did the same to me. He is the reason I am who I am, and the reason why I found the man of my dreams. I will never be able to tell him how thankful I am that he came into my life. Kurt was an inspiration to us all, and his quirky remarks and amazing sense of style will forever be missed." Dave wipes the tears from his face as we walks towards his husband, stopping to squeeze my shoulder on the way past.

Brittany squeezes my hand then her and Santana stand and walk to the podium slowly. They stand with their arms around each other's waists almost as if they're holding each other up.

Brittany starts to speak, "Just so you all know, I'm picturing you all in clown suits, only because I'm nervous."

Everyone laughs at that. "Good, laugh, Kurt would want us to laugh, although he was quite the drama person. Kurt and I we weren't always close, I mean we made out sophomore year, and then we ran against each other for senior class president. But a few years ago Santana's album hit number one, Blaine killed it on Broadway in How to Succeed in Business, and Kurt's fashion line took off while I was sitting here in Ohio running my dance school. Then we all got together for dinner and we decided since Blaine would be traveling the country performing in cities nationwide, and Santana had her big world tour coming up that Kurt and I would do well to stay together. So we put our money together and bought the gorgeous mansion we still love in today. While his husband and my wife were away touring, Kurt and I became closer than ever before…Now I forgot what I was supposed to say next, see I forgot how to read once I left school so it wouldn't have done me any good to write it down."

She got another round of laughs for that. Santana smiled, "I think Britt was going to say that we will always remember the things he gave us, but we will also remember his snarky comments which matched mine quite well. Kurt will be missed by all, especially all the girls, I mean gay boys who wear his close." I can't help but smile at her remark, quite in her style. They return to their seats, it's my turn now.

I walk up to the podium and pull out the sheet on which I wrote my speech. I'm about to speak when I hear Kurt's voice, _"I'm right here Blaine, I will always be with you." _I can't be imagining this, as I feel his hand on my face and a kiss on my cheek. I turn my head quickly and I think I see a pale haze that quickly disappears. I turn back to everyone and begin my speech.


	6. Chapter 6: I'll Always Be With You

**Sorry it took me like a month to post this chapter, I've been very busy with school work and clubs and trying to wrangle myself a girlfriend. This chapter is what many of you asked for, but not quite what you were expecting I'm sure. Just read and I will try to get a few more chapters done in the next two weeks. **

**Kurt's POV!**

Brittany screams. Bright lights are shining through the window. I let go of Blaine's hand to block my eyes from the approaching lights. I hear someone's brakes screeching, not sure who's though.

Then, the truck hits us and the windows break; the door is smashed into me and I feel something stabbing me in several places. Everything moves in slow motion, something hits my head and I black out.

"Sir, sir? Can you hear me sir?" A female paramedic is asking me as I blink open my eyes.

"Y-yes." I say through the extreme pain and throbbing that has taken over my body.

"Okay, don't move until we tell you to, we are going to try to get you out." She says while she cuts off my seatbelt. I hear the sound of metal being cut. Out of the corner of my eye I see them pulling the truck away, which pulls on the metal that is stabbing me. I clench my teeth so I don't scream.

They bring in some metal cutters and cut the shards of metal that are stabbing me to separate them from the car so that I can be moved. I begin to feel light headed and the pain becomes too much. I black out again.

…

I'm waking up again, there are bright florescent lights. The pain is much duller than it was before, but still lingering. I hear some people talking.

"We need to get him up to surgery now, he's lost too much blood already, and we need to get these shards out of him." I see the doctors reaching across me and I feel myself moving.

"D-doctor?" I whisper hoarsely.

"Kurt, everything is going to be okay, we're taking you into surgery." The doctor says as I realize who he is.

"Mr. Lopez? Where is Blaine?"

"He is being taken care of; he broke his arm but will be fine." He says trying to reassure me, "We're putting you under now, see you when you wake up."

His face slowly fades and the world becomes fuzzy and I can't feel anything anymore.

…

I was in a deep sleep dreaming about being with Blaine and watching him sleep right before I woke him up. Then all of a sudden I'm pulled away from that moment and now I'm in an operating room and there are doctors trying to revive a patient who is crashing.

It feels like I am floating just above the floor, but when I take a step to see who the dying patient is I feel my feet touching the floor. I glance at the patient and stumble backwards seeing that it is me lying there.

I watch as Doctor Lopez tells everyone to stop, "Time of Death 1:35 A.M." He pulls of his scrub cap and mask and I see him crying.

I am in shock; I turn and run through the door. Then I stop, I went through the door, never in my dreams do I walk through things. _Am I dead?_ I don't know what is going on.

I start running again, I run through people, through walls, and then I'm in Blaine's hospital room. I stop and I see him sitting there talking to my mom, dad and Finn, they are laughing a little, but I can tell it is half-hearted. Every time someone walks by the room Blaine looks to see who it is.

I stand and watch them from the corner of the room as Santana comes in followed by her father, Dr. Lopez. I watch and listen as he tells them that I didn't survive. I watch as Carole turns into my father who is already bawling, Finn goes into shock and Santana is crying like I have never seen her before. Then I look at Blaine as he squeezes Santana's hand then as the waves of sobs roll over him he cradles his face in his hands.

I move closer to the bed and reach out to put my hand on Blaine's head and it doesn't go through it, it stays on top and I can feel his loose curls between my fingers. He shakes his head as if he felt my hand and wants it gone. I withdraw my hand and go back to watching from the corner.

…

At first I had thought this was a dream, but it hasn't stopped and it has been four days that I have gone through. I'm just following Blaine around, watching him as he cried in the closet; made funeral arrangements and now we're at my funeral.

It's only my family here, others will be arriving soon, but they're taking this time to be with my body in private. Blaine walks up to the coffin first; I walk a couple feet behind him.

I watch as he reaches down to stroke my cheek, wishing I could feel it, feel his tears that are falling onto my face. As he pulls out our wedding photo and tucks it into my body's pocket I can't help myself and I put my hand on his shoulder. "I love you," I whisper in his ear.

He spins around and I move so he can't see me, not that I think he can see me, but just in case he can I don't think now is the best time. Looking confused he turns back to my body and leans down and kisses me. Then I watch him stumble to the row of chairs where Finn comforts him as my parents say goodbye to my corpse.

All of my friends start to arrive, people I have not seen in years, people who I thought had all but forgotten about me. They all walk up to my coffin and say their goodbyes and then say their condolences to Blaine.

I watch as Santana and Brittany show up, causing quite the commotion because of Brittany's new found blindness in the same accident that caused my death. Then I watch as my father begins the ceremony, and the New Directions sing If I Die Young.

Dave Karofsky gets up and talks about how I changed his life, then Santana and Brittany get up and speak; Britt as cutely dumb as ever.

Now it's Blaine's turn to speak. I follow him to the podium. I can see on his face that he is struggling to start his words, so I comfort him. I place my hand on his cheek and whisper, "I'm right here Blaine, I will always be with you." And place a kiss upon his cheek.

I watch the shock cross his face as he turns towards me; I quickly make myself fade away so my hand falls through Blaine. The look on his face makes me think he saw me, but I can't be sure.

Blaine turns back towards all of my friends, and they look a little confused about what he just did. It takes him a minute, but he starts to say his eulogy of me.

"Kurt and I met in high school, I was a sophomore and he was a junior. Oddly enough we didn't go to the same school at first; he was actually coming to spy on the Warblers. I remember looking up those stairs at him and thinking how adorable he was. I also saw how much he was struggling with bullying at his school, he looked so sad. Then he came transferred to Dalton and I watched him become so much happier. We became close friends and then one day he was singing Blackbird to our recently deceased mascot, Pavarotti, and I realized that he was the person I had been looking for, the love of my life. I couldn't imagine living my life without him. We started dating soon after that and five years later we got married. Kurt was the light of my life, I don't know where I would be without him, and in fact I am unsure of where I will be now that he is gone." And with that Blaine's tears returned and he couldn't continue.

I watch as Finn, the best brother I could have asked for, walks up and puts his arm around Blaine. "We will all miss Kurt and we will never forget how he touched us all." Finn says before helping Blaine back to his seat. I want so badly to hold Blaine, but I can't do that, not here.

A silence falls upon the room, with only the sound of tears and sniffling noses. I am standing at the podium looking out at all those here to mourn my death and none of them can see me.

As I scan the hundreds of people I spot one person among the faces, someone I had almost forgotten about completely in the days since my death.

This person was one Caitlin Fink, and she was our surrogate.


End file.
